avoidance

I haven't skated since Houston. Not once. Right after Houston I needed a break because of school just starting and I've been working very hard. Since then, though, I've pretty much just been avoiding skating all together. I miss it terribly, but I was so frustrated with everything I just need to make some decisions. I've had all these goals and I don't feel like I'm anywhere near reaching them. Or even getting closer. My sister hasn't been able to commit to a time for a lesson for me. Her afternoon sessions are completely booked and she's not doing morning sessions. Even the session that I could count on for her last year she has booked another student on. So I'm not sure what to do. I'm kind of leaving it up to her. If she wants to fit me in, then she will. I've been feeling for a long time like I haven't been improving like I feel I should/could and I feel like that's because I don't have consistent lessons. It is indescribably frustrating to watch all these kids working on their axels when I was able to do my singles consistently way before they could. I finally got one lesson on the harness this summer, but that was only after I broke down crying on a freestyle. Also, me failing that test was related to a lack of coaching. I did one of my patterns wrong and I had no idea. I felt good about it until I skated over to my sister and she told me I did it wrong. She had told me two days before the test that I was doing it wrong. I had been doing it that exact way for at least 6 months before that.
So I've got some decisions to make. I feel like the right decision has to be get a new coach, but I've got a few issues with that. One is money. Danny and I are buying a new house, so I just don't feel like I should spend alot of money on coaching right now. The second is my sister. I've really liked having this time we could hang out, and I don't really want to give that up (of course I guess I already have with my not-skating). Everytime I think about this whole situation I cry. So instead...I've just not been thinking about it. :( I don't know what to do, so until I do...I'm not sure I'll be doing any skating.

Houston: The good and the bad

First...the bad. My artistic. I skated pretty well, so that was good, but I placed 4th out of 4 which was very disappointing. I know I wasn't as comfortable with the boa as I should have been, but I still don't understand last place. Now I'm thinking I'm gonna ditch the boa. Or maybe I just need a different artistic.
Second...the good. My freeskate. I skated possibly the best I've skated it in a competition. I didn't hit my camel in the beginning, so that sucked. The only other mistake I made is that I two-footed my loop on my flip-loop. Everything else was fantastic. I rocked my lutz toe-loop which was very exciting since I just added that the other day, and I haven't done much working on lutz combos. My sister said my sit spin was the best she'd ever seen me do.
Overall I felt good about this competition. I skated well, and I had tough competition. I look forward to the Star of Texas adult open in January.

Houston

Well...I'm getting ready to leave for Houston. I skated exactly once this week. On a public session. On the small ice. After having a margarita. :) So yeah...I'm not as comfortable with my routines as I would like to be, but when I hit them they're good. My artistic is this afternoon. I feel okay about it because all I really need to do there is sell it. Which is my strong point. Then I have a practice ice this afternoon and one tomorrow morning, and I skate my freeskate tomorrow afternoon. So I think I'll be okay. I just really want to skate well. Alright. I have to go pack so I can get on the road.